[Discombobulated]

-Be me
-24lv
-Insanely poor
-Can't keep a job
-One of my friends says I can live with him
-I jump at the opportunity because poor af
-I start out sleeping on the couch
-Back starts getting sore from the uncomfortable position
-Friend only has one bed
-Ask him no homo if I can sleep in his bed
-"Sure, Anon. No homo."
-My back feels great sleeping in a real bed again
-Everything goes pretty well for a while
-One day I walk in on my friend fapping to gay porn
-He says no homo
-I laugh it off
-One day I find his d---o
-He tells me it is his mom's
-I laugh and play it off
-One day I catch him jizzing into our milk
-No homo he says
-That jizz milk tasted great /b/
-One day he starts grinding on me while we're in bed
-He whispers no homo into my ear
-I laugh and spoon him back no homo
-One day he says we should start a family no homo
-I agree no homo
-We go to China a pick out a kid from the child store
-Beautiful baby boy no homo
-Friend kisses me on the lips because he's so happy
-Just assume that he forgets to say no homo
-We hold hands the entire plane ride home no homo
-We get married so our son has a family but it's still no homo
-One night my husband and I are making love no homo
-The balls touch
-He doesn't say no homo
-That's when I realized I'm married to a faggot ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#coolstory #truestory #heheszki

[Martingale]

@Discombobulated: