Trochę żartów z [/r/soccer](http://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/2x... (@emdey)

Trochę żartów z /r/soccer

Kilka starych i znanych ale dla mnie też kilka nowych. Jak było to krzyczcie. :-)

An Aston Villa fan walks into a pub with his dog just as the football scores come on the TV. The announcer says that Aston Villa have lost 3-0 and the dog immediately rolls over on its back, sticks its paws in the air and plays dead. "That's amazing," says the barman, "what does he do when they win?" The Aston Villa Fan scratches his head for a couple of minutes and finally replies:

What do Chelsea and US Navy have in common?

How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a light bulb?

The Liverpool FC manager flies to Kabul to watch a young Afghani play football, is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Chelsea with only 20 minutes left, the manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. 'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.' 'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time.' The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry.' 'Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' says his mum,

During the World Cup in Brazil, the England team visited an orphanage. "It was heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope."

I was at the Man City match the other day and the lad sat next to me called me a cunt.

Real Madrid just finished playing Man United in the Champions League, a little fan runs up to Ronaldo after the match waving a piece of paper to get an autograph. CR says, "sure, do you have a pen?" The kid says, "I'll get one," throws himself on the ground and starts rolling around, holding his knee and crying. Cristiano says, "you said you were getting a pen."