[Karburator_z_odzysku]

Wersja angielska tej pasty - historii Rosji. Wrzucajcie gdzie chcecie i kiedy chcecie, chcę być do snu utulany dźwiękiem bolących rosyjskich dup ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

WERSJA PL: http://www.wykop.pl/wpis/20741375/rosjawstajezkolan-rosja-rosjazyjewgownie-i-nie-wie/

#rosjawstajezkolan #rosja #rosjazyjewgownie i nie wiem czy #pasta bo na faktach, ale na pewno #heheszki

be born as a russian in USSR

learn in school that USSR is the most awesome contry in the world

USSR falls apart because three guys got drunk in Belavezha

elect as a president some drunkard

watch him making a coup and shooting to the House of the Government

wherever he goes, he is totally drunk

another elections are coming

VOTE FOR HIM AGAIN (WTF >9000)

watch as he sells your country to the oligarchs

his popularity drops

so he starts a war against some caucasian shepperds

THEY FUCK YOU UP (WTF again)

despite exporting gas your country goes bancrupt

after New Year's heavy drinking your president declares resignation because of liver and kidneys failure

next guy is a random chekist who looks like sad-eyed Dobby from Harry Potter

he declares a will for a reformes, but instead you have a 2nd war with Chechens

oil price goes up

a bit better live

chekist cancels the reformes because of high oil prices

you buy your first PC

you compare economic growth of different countries

turns out that oil exporting Russia has the same economic growth as non gas-exporting countries

WaitButWhy.jpg

you start to ask "where does the money go?""

unknown assailants beaut you up in a back alley

Chodorkowsky calls for reforms during the oil prosperity

so he is sent to jail

next decade

economic stagnation despite high oil prices

WTF.jpg

despite that Russia to organise winter olimpics

and plans to spend 50 billions USD

50 000 000 000 dollars

while it usually costs three times less but bribes must go on

you read this article: http://www.np-press.ru/materialy-vypuska/stati/8719-my-eshchjo-ne-kosnulis-dna

you realize that except few hundreds of oligarchs and their families the rest of Russians live in an extreme poverty

economy gets worse

president, to raise the popularity, invades one of the last country which had positive relations with Russia

from now on Russia is the most hated country in Ukraine

all other neighbors more or less openly turn towards the West

because you shoot down a civil aircraft the West imposes sanctions on banking system and military industry

your own president adds a sanctions against foreign food

meanwhile oil prices go down

economical stagnation turns into a recession

all economical markers drop

the same in 2015

and 2016

you start to connect the dots

you live in a country, which succeded in nothing during te last 40 years

except a tiny group of oligarchs rest of russian's live is in the same standard as of African tribes

nobody in the world respects you because how to respect a losers

chechen mafia, which you defeated after two civil wars, controls Moscow and majority of Russia

everyone drink, steal or bribe, usually all three

all "patriots" in TV have families and houses in the "Gayropa"

you go to TV

some Polish says that Ukrainians fight against Russia because they don't want to live in shit like Russians

40 years of living in shit finally break down

you hit that Polish into face and that's the best joy you ever had

there won't be any plot-twist because it's real life in Russia

only drunk halucinations and death

As I said: feel free to copy/paste wherever you want ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[O.....B]

@Karburator_z_odzysku:
nwm kto tłumaczył ale jest sporo błędów jak spellingi, S+V agreement i inne mniejsze (saxon genitiv, prep np.) ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

[Karburator_z_odzysku]

@OKTMB: jeżeli to nie są poważne błędy to spoko - dodadzą tylko wiarogodności ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[fastmotion]

@Karburator_z_odzysku: błędy dodały klimatu

[2.....r]

@Karburator_z_odzysku: 10/10