[ameneos]

A Polish farmer is ploughing his field when he hits an obstruction in the soil - a dirty old lamp. He picks it up and rubs it to clean it off, and a genie appears in a puff of smoke.

"Oh most wise and munificent master of the lamp," says the Genie. "as a reward for freeing me from my bondage, I will grant you the boon of three wishes"

The farmer thinks and thinks and finally says: "I want the Mongols to invade Poland... and then go home."

The genie looks confused, but he shrugs, and snaps his fingers, says, “As it is spoken, so it is done.” and the Mongols invade. They rampage through the country, looting and pillaging... and then they go home.

The peasant comes out of his hiding place in the woods, to his now ruined village.

"Not quite so wise and not quite so munificent master of the lamp," says the genie, "that was your first wish. What is your next?"

"I want the Mongols to invade Poland again... and then go home."

The genie sighs. "So it is spoken, so it is done." He snaps his fingers again, and the Mongols return. They set the farmhouse on fire, and steal the chickens, and then they go home.

The peasant climbs from under of the dead horse that he was hiding under.

"Most foolish and maleficent master of the lamp, what is your third and final wish?" asks the genie.

"I want the Mongols to invade Poland again, and then go home," says the farmer without hesitation.

So the Mongols invade once again, they kill the last remaining dog, they rape a few corpses and poke the ashes of the still smoldering village. They wonder why they bothered coming at all, and then they leave.

The peasant digs himself out of the mass grave he was buried alive in.

As they are both standing in the smoking, ransacked ruins of the farmhouse, the genie says: "Former master, now that I am freed from my obligation to not question your wisdom, I have to know, you could have wished for anything in the whole world, and you had the Mongols invade your own country three times, and totally destroy it. Why?!"

The farmer looks very pleased with himself. "Well, you see, in order to invade Poland three times and go home, they had to invade Russia six times!"

#humor #rosja #bialorus #angielski

[empty_silence]

@ameneos: To nowa wersja tych żartów, że Polak sobie oko wydłubie, byle ktoś inny oba stracił?

[SuperFancyFretka]

@empty_silence: Ten dowcip jest tak stary, że opowiadali go sobie chanowie za czasów Złotej Ordy.