What does a man who's had a vasectomy and a Christmas tree have in common?

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#kawalzreddit

A butler is cleaning one of the guest rooms in a mansion when the lady of the house walks in.

She fixes him with an imperious gaze and cocks one arm on her hip "Charles," she says, "take off my dress."

The butler swallows hard, but he knows his duty. He puts his hands on the buttons of her dress and starts to undo them, one by one. More and more skin is revealedPokaż całość

Two men and a woman are stranded on an island after a plane crash...
... Resourceful, they waste no time, build a house, find food and water, and globally have it good. After one month, the woman goes to the two men and says:

"Okay guys, let's be frank. I have my needs, you have your needs, let's do it. We'll take turns, one day it's you", she says to the first guy,Pokaż całość

A mailman walking down the street saw Little Johnny playing in a pile of shit.
He had it between his fingers and smeared over his body.

The mailman asked him what he was doing and Johnny looked up and said "Making a mailman.”

This pissed the mailman off. He went up the street, saw a fireman, and told him what the boy was doing and what a smartass the kid was. The fireman saidPokaż całość

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub...

The barman says 'Is this some sort of joke'

#kawalzreddit

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Ethiopian all sit in the hospital lobby as their wives are giving birth.

After a while the doctor comes out, invites them into the nursery where 3 babies lie in cribs and says: "Congratulation! You all just became fathers! But there is one problem. Due to a nurse's error the babies got mixed up and we don't really know which one who's."

The Englishman suddenly grabs the darkestPokaż całość

Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.

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Two Jews are arguing before the Rabbi

J1: "Black is a color!"

J2: "NO! it is not!"

J1:Pokaż całość

A detective story

11:45 - arrived at crime scene

11:45 - Examined body. Signs of struggle

11:45 - Found murder weapon in drain

11:45 - Realised watch was broken

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An Englishman and an Irishman discussed the same thing.

E: did you know the English invented the first rudimentary condoms by using sheep intestines?

I: yes but the Irish had the idea of removing them from the sheep first.

#kawalzreddit #uk #irlandia

Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has pissed “Trump Sucks” in the fresh snow.
Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says “Mr President, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is we’ve done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it’s Mike Pence’s.”
“That traitor”,Pokaż całość

#kawalzreddit #kawal

A mob dragged a man into a police station for running over 11 people, while shouting "Monster!" "Murderer!" "Killer! ".
The policeman dispersed the crowd and began to interrogate the suspect.

The policeman : Tell me what happened.Pokaż całość

A priest, a minister and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job.

So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins:

“When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“IPokaż całość