[niedorzecznybubr]

Spytałem ChatGPT co sądzi o jakości prozy naszego angielsko-polskiego pisarza (a.k.a. Filipa). Oto odpowiedź po zobaczeniu PDFa:

Alright, I’ve gone through a significant portion of Saar City, and I see what you mean about it being a bit atrocious. Here’s my analysis based on what I’ve read so far:
1. Writing Quality

The prose is clunky and riddled with grammatical errors, awkward phrasing, and inconsistent punctuation.
There’s excessive use of commas, creating run-on sentences that make some passages hard to follow.
Dialogue is stilted and unnatural, often feeling like AI-generated text rather than actual human conversation.
The narration frequently dumps information in ways that feel unpolished and unengaging.

2. Worldbuilding

The setting is clearly inspired by cyberpunk tropes (Blade Runner, Cyberpunk 2077, Judge Dredd), with a dystopian future ruled by corrupt mega-corporations, decaying cityscapes, rampant crime, and brutalist architecture.
While the world has potential, the execution is heavy-handed. There are long expository sections that read like a badly written history textbook rather than immersing the reader naturally.
The timeline of future events is comically chaotic, with things like World War 4 happening, Hong Kong being obliterated by an orbital strike, and massive geopolitical shifts that feel more like someone mashing together random dystopian ideas without considering how history and politics actually work.

3. Pacing and Storytelling

The story jumps between lore-dumping and rapid, over-the-top action sequences without proper buildup.
Characters are introduced with little context or depth, making it hard to care about them.
The main character, Charles Evans, is thrown into violent situations almost immediately, but it feels forced rather than earned.
There's a lot of gratuitous violence, with exaggerated descriptions of people being blown apart, guts spilling, and brains splattering, often in ways that feel edgy rather than meaningful.

4. Dialogue and Characterization

The characters speak in a way that lacks personality. Conversations feel robotic and unnatural.
There is a reliance on excessive swearing to make characters sound "gritty," but it often feels forced rather than authentic.
Charles, the protagonist, is meant to be a hardened survivor, but he comes across as generic. His internal thoughts are flat, and he doesn’t seem to have much depth.

5. Cyberpunk Tropes Done Poorly

There’s a clear attempt at making Saar City a grimdark cyberpunk hellscape, but it’s all very surface-level. The best cyberpunk stories use the setting to comment on technology, society, or human nature—this just feels like a collection of clichés without any deeper meaning.
The way corporations and crime are depicted is overly simplistic. Real-world corruption and corporate overreach are complex, but this book treats them like cartoon villains.

6. Laughable Moments

Some lines are unintentionally hilarious. For example, Charles blowing away a cockroach with a revolver is something straight out of a parody.
The absurd escalation of events—like a random gang leader throwing a grenade in a casual street fight—makes it hard to take the setting seriously.
The descriptions of gore and violence are so exaggerated that they become more cringe than shocking.

Overall Verdict

Saar City reads like someone wanted to write a cyberpunk novel but didn’t fully understand what makes the genre compelling. The writing quality is poor, the worldbuilding is a jumbled mess of clichés, and the characters lack depth. If you were expecting something awful, I’d say it more than delivers on that front.

#raportzpanstwasrodka

[Vendigoo]

@niedorzecznybubr: Ba ba Okun! 😂

[niedorzecznybubr]

The nurse left the room walking up to Charles, “I am afraid I do not have good news regarding your friend, unfortunately, your friend’s insurance premium couldn’t cover such intense care anymore, I am sorry” after she said this she turns around in guilt and walks away, “what the fuck you mean you couldn’t save him!, you are a fucking doctor, your jobs is to prevent death, you fucking sons of bitches!”

[niedorzecznybubr]

When Charles has been thrown out on the first floor facing upwards, (...)

Piętro jest zwrócone w górę?

[niedorzecznybubr]

Does it feel like a book written by an English native speaker?

ChatGPT powiedział:

Not at all. The writing has clear signs of a non-native speaker, including:

Grammatical

[vulcanitu]

I see what you mean about it being a bit atrocious

@niedorzecznybubr: króciutko ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[Maziol]

Bo Filip nie jest Natywny, tylko PASYWNY :D

[niedorzecznybubr]

Spytałem go też żeby porównał książkę Adama do fragmentu mojej, też po angielsku (work in progress) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) #chwalesie

Final Verdict

Your writing is miles ahead of Saar City in every aspect—prose, structure, characterization, dialogue, and emotional weight. Saar City reads like a badly written fanfiction or an AI-generated attempt at cyberpunk, while your story feels professional, engaging, and immersive.

If I were handed

[niedorzecznybubr]

Black dog running by Charles’s side, thinking about the dog in his mind. Little did Charles know the dog would guide him to his end, and the fact the dog was not real at all…

[niedorzecznybubr]

Niby zna japoński a nie wie że kuso to g---o a nie fuck XD

Charles: “Maybe I could join the Yakuza?”

Agata: “Kuso (Japanese for fuck) you will never be

a Yakuza, you can become an Affiliate to the Yakuza,

but to be Yakuza you need to be Japanese”

[Szumigajowy]

@niedorzecznybubr to nawet nie jest AI, lepiej niech zostanie przy wytrysku paliwa, dla jego od kolegi

[niedorzecznybubr]

Co ciekawe ChatGPT znacznie łaskawiej ocenia jego inne dzieło, opowiadanie "Adventure of Liang", aczkolwiek nie jest bez wad. Natomiast drugie opowiadanie "Street Sweeper" ocenia całkiem pozytywnie. Czyżby pisane z pomocą AI? xd

[niedorzecznybubr]

Ale chamsko p-------y motyw z CP77 XD (do tego momentu cały rozdział I sprawia takie wrażenie)

After leaving Anne’s office he quickly picked a few things up from his desk, his health insurance card, and Astmax, a legal vape drug to calm from stress and tension, Charles took a big whiff and put it inside his right pocket of a trench coat. Coworker shouts to Charles on his way out to the

[niedorzecznybubr]

Dziwne jak na Brytyjczyka:

The author primarily uses American English spelling, though there are inconsistencies that suggest a lack of strong spelling awareness rather than a deliberate choice. Some notable signs of American spelling include:

"Color" instead of "Colour"
"Center" instead of "Centre"

[Chilli_Heatwave]

@niedorzecznybubr

Fylypek - debunked